When they chase you out of your home over a bath tub!

Because of a turn of events that left me reeling with stress, I feel compelled to expand on the previous post about OTs. I had three visits from people from Powys County Council, one was just the OT, the next one was a man who needed to approve of the recommendations the OT had made, and the third was the two of them together. Although I’d offered a perfectly good plan of action, he still had to come and tell me that it won’t do. They were basically plotting against me the whole time they were here (and it was a long time). I felt overwhelmed, couldn’t hear everything they talked about, but I did catch a lot of disparaging and gaslighting remarks such as ‘the housing association will expect her to need a stair lift soon anyway so will definitely ask her to use the shower room’. While the OT had already recommended that the bath tub should be changed for one that doesn’t have the dangerously sloping sides and narrow standing surface (this would be dangerous for anyone with leg and feet problems), the man just ignored it and tried to coerce me into using the downstairs shower room. Although he’s some kind of technical adviser, he didn’t even understand that it is not a wet room. I found it necessary to advise him as a Finnish person that it definitely is not a wet room. It’s just the same as the bathroom upstairs - there are dry walls and a small area above the tub is tiled. The other option which he found necessary to repeat to me ad infinitum was to ‘just move houses’. He didn’t want to hear about reasons not to move because he was following a script, like they all do.

Yep, I’ve certainly heard that one before. The intensely patronising assumption that I should ‘just move houses’ if this one is not suited to my needs. This comes up as soon as there is some tiny little problem. What people seem to misunderstand without a blink that it is my home and that it is suited to my needs. They just won’t listen when I try and explain that I do not wish to live in a goddam bungalow. I do not wish to pay thousands of pounds for a relocation when I’m lucky to be where I am now. Why would I opt for uncertainty when I know what I have now? Who would even pack my things and do the works? Because I can’t do that. I’m disabled with a chronic medical condition that includes problems with exhaustion and overwhelm and stress. The council pays a couple of hundred towards a relocation, it’s laughable to ask people to pay thousands out of pocket. I’d rather spend that money on adaptations and aids they refuse to fund (because maybe they don’t believe I need them?).

So sure there are stairs and that’s fine for the time being but only when I am fully in control of my movements. It is not a black and white situation. It’s about being able to do things reliably and repeatedly. I want to move a bit for the sake of the exercise, and I can manage the stairs up to a point, but I do not want to put myself in danger by trailing up and down the stairs countless times a day because some man from the council thinks that I have to use a shower room just because there is one to use and he is ‘convinced’ the housing association will not budge. 

Statistically, the chances of me falling down the stairs due to a subluxation or some disorientation would go up exponentially if I were to run down to the shower room every time I need a wash. And I actually have to wash very often because of sweating, body odour, greasy skin and intimate problems to do with IBS. I did not feel comfortable giving these people all the details because it was obvious I was being bullied and gaslit and was not being listened to, but I tried to underline that this is how I want  and need to live. I need to sleep on the first floor because I’m hypervigilant and feel stress on the ground floor. I actually tried to explain that I have tried it before, and it didn’t work well for me. I have insomnia and hyperacusis and I really need the peace I now have in my upstairs bedroom. I use the bathroom next to it a lot and so I have made it as warm and cosy as possible. I do not want to charge down the stairs when I’m half asleep or dopey from sleeping pills or just feeling ill and fatigued. There may be times when I can’t even do that due to chronic illness flare ups. I also have great, open views from the upstairs window that help with my mental health. I am home bound and often feel imprisoned and claustrophobic, and the views help with that.

So just because I happen to have disabilities, doesn’t mean I’m a commodity that can be shoved around when someone else decides my needs are something they are not. I have also spent a lot of money on this house and the garden. In addition, I just made friends with my new next door neighbours and feel so much safer now that I know how kindly they are. The man has health issues as well and revealed that he’d been nervous about my opinions because the other neighbours had already made complaints about some things and he could see that the man on my other side was a bully. When we hit it off, he offered to cut my lawn at the front every time he does his own, and he did it straight away as a token of friendly neighbourly sentiments. He does odd jobs so I might be able to employ him over time. I certainly need this because (as I have shared before), I’ve had a lot of unpleasant encounters and stressors over the years. So yeah… this house actually meets with my needs. 

Yet this is the letter that came back from the housing officer: 

Good afternoon,

I have discussed this with D [maintenance officer] and J (OT - county council).

We would not look to replace the bath again as you have a downstairs shower room. 

If it is the case that the shower downstairs does not drain as it should then I will raise a job for [the contractor] to come out and resolve this issue. I can arrange for this to be done as an urgent job, within 7 days. 

The suggestion of a move is made when the house you are currently living in is unsuitable for your needs and we are not reasonably able to make the adaptations you require. 

I am able to assist you with getting a house application on the Homes in Powys website if this is something you wish to do.

As mentioned, if you would like to complete the work yourself, please email X to gain permission necessary to carry out these works.

If you are unhappy with this outcome, I am more than happy to send you a complaints pack via email or post so you can make a formal complaint. 

Thanks,

X

Housing Officer

She’s happy, is she. Haha so they are also happy to start digging a hole in the concrete floor for drainage rather than replace a super cheap bath tub that was ill advised to begin with. My neighbour told me their shower room floor is so poorly constructed the water actually flows into the hallway. Either way, it’s a cold, echoey and unpleasant space full of my gardening utensils because there is no other usable storage space. I have no intention of heating it because the council tells me to use it, in fact I have no intention of heating the downstairs for any reason outside of the time I use the living room, and that’s for a short while in the day time. I have problems with bodily temperature regulation and I am getting old, and should not get cold. By the time I’m out of that shower I’m already cold, let alone by the time I’ve made it back upstairs. Also, it’s not suited to the fact that I have hyperacusis. A new fan was recently installed and it’s very noisy, but a quieter and more expensive version was put into the upstairs bathroom because I requested it and the fan man was a nice and understanding fellow who really listened.

I have complained very loudly about this and have not spared my words because I’m really shocked at the way these people are treating me. It’s discriminatory, humiliating and dehumanising. These people try and burden me with ridiculously complicated manoeuvres and unnecessary actions (i.e. more steps to achieve a goal) instead of unburdening me as they should do. There job is to make my life easier, safer and more independent, not more risky and difficult. I’m also still fully cogent and able to decide how I want to live. They are completely running over me, and are trying to direct me in ways that run counter to my actual needs and desires. They put me through a lot of stress and exhaustion with their many visits - I also had several visits last year from two maintenance officers about general issues that included problems with the bathroom. Why do people insist on making themselves look stupid? Oh I know, it’s the good ol’ Dunning-Kruger syndrome rearing its head again. This is how the overt discrimination of the sick and disabled that’s plaguing this country today is playing out, but maybe there’s xenophobia in the mix as well?

Now my fight and flight response is through the roof again, making sleeping through the withdrawal into even more of a battle than it needed to be. I have told them that if I were to use the shower room and happened to fall down the stairs and break my neck and survive it, I would file a law suit against them. Is that really what they want? In the past seven years I have successfully taken the NHS, the DWP and AO to court, so yeah I can do it. I would caution them not to underestimate the power of my rage. The problem is that the rage is not good for my health.

These days, everyone’s a psychologist, but apparently, they are also all medically competent. University of ChatGPT would probably be helpful in these cases because it cannot get any worse than the patronising rubbish I have had to put up with throughout my life here in Mid Wales.